Fir 'A That

[Sin_Tiger]

To a Macaroni Pie

Fair fa' your sharp, acidic tang
Great Chieftain o' the Scotch Pie gang!
Ye staun aboon the whole shebang
Steak, Mince or Mutton
Sworn foe of every hunger pang
And strainin' button!
Behind the Co-Op checkout's shield
Ye stand in majesty revealed
Proud pasta tubes in pastry sealed
Wi' milky sheen
And topped wi' grated cheese congealed
Like plasticine.
His lunch see rustic Labour crave
And bung ye in the microwave
Until your stodgy guts behave
Like lava streams
And careless diners rant and rave
Wi' anguished screams.
What setting suits your charms the best?
A banquet for an honoured guest?
Or watching Strictly in a vest?
Each maun be prized.
The eve of a blood glucose test?
That's no' advised.
Is there that owre his wilted greens
Or trumpety Aduki beans
Or juices packed wi' carotenes
An' mingin' flavour
Regards this dish for kings an' queens
Wi' stern disfavour?
Poor devil! See him at the gym
Astride a treadmill to keep trim
Sae puritanical and prim
That joy's forbidden!
The wind could sweep him on a whim
Intae a midden.
But mark the pasta-nurtured chiel!
Life holds for him a rich appeal
The cauld blast canna mak him kneel
Or idly drift
He's blubbered like an Arctic seal
And hard to shift.
Ye Powers wha strive for mankind's good
And keep them healthy, fit and rude
Auld Scotland wants nae rabbit food
That maks her bony
But one thing stirs her gratitude:
Baked Macaroni!

[nickjtc]

Well done. Makes me want to cook up a batch...

[Sin_Tiger]

I cannot claim any literary genius here.

Please note, Macaroni Cheese is not an Italian dish, it's Scottish as stated on many menus north of the border 

His birth place is just a few miles from home, his parents first met at the merkat cross just down the road from here, so as you can image being in the heart of Burns country, it's a big night in these parts.

[iansoady]

For some reason they've all taken to calling it mac 'n' cheese. I thought this was some new exotic dish. My late mum from Dalkeith used to make a cracking version.

Not sure Rabbie would appreciate the "tribute" but I liked it.......

[nickjtc]

When I was raising my two boys it was one of the staples they asked for every week, along with cauliflower cheese and toad in the hole.

[JayDub]

I didn't get very far without a translator, but sounds a bit hefty for me - Jus gies a roll n pie Hen... an nae sause