News:

Welcome to the TigerTriple forum! Over the years we have gathered lots of great information on all things Triumph Tiger. Besides that, this is a great community that is willing to help you keep your Tiger moving. So, feel welcome! Also, try the search button for answers to your questions. If you have any questions, PM me on ghulst.

Main Menu

Daily smile thread

Started by Lee337, January 09, 2021, 01:00:03 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Lee337

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was playing.

A sign read: "Don't Miss The Amazing Italian".

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, under The Big Top, in the centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Italian.

Suddenly, the old man dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male member and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings

The crowd erupted in applause and the elderly Italian was carried off on their shoulders.

Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus and saw the same faded sign that read, "Don't Miss The Amazing Italian".

He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act!

He bought a ticket. Again, the center ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.

The Italian stood before them, then suddenly dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member.

The crowd went wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show. "You're incredible!" he told the Italian, "but I have to know something. I saw your act 15 years ago and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?"

"Well," said the Italian, "My eyes aren't what they used to be"
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Lee337

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Lee337

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them...

the police call it indecent exposure, I know that now!
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Lee337

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Lee337

Watched Huw fearnley whittingstall go into fields & woods, he picked wild garlic, wild fennel, wild mushrooms, he then found some duck eggs & made a delicious looking omelette, inspired by this I picked some wild mushrooms from the woods, sadly I couldn't identify any other edible plants so when I got home I cooked the wild mushrooms in a risotto, it was delicious, can't take all the credit though as I was assisted by three green pixies who were dressed as ballerinas singing oh solé mio,
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Lee337

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Madruss

 :thumbsup Someone with an eye for recycling, artistic & practical [attach id=19177]
1996 Granite black Steamer, ahead of 40 odd others owned
Regards Russ
An ounce of luck is worth a ton of experience!

Madruss

Another sculpture by a local motor enthusiast [attach id=19179]
1996 Granite black Steamer, ahead of 40 odd others owned
Regards Russ
An ounce of luck is worth a ton of experience!

Madruss

1996 Granite black Steamer, ahead of 40 odd others owned
Regards Russ
An ounce of luck is worth a ton of experience!

Madruss

One out of my shed :thumbsup [attach id=19188]
1996 Granite black Steamer, ahead of 40 odd others owned
Regards Russ
An ounce of luck is worth a ton of experience!

Madruss

I Left my truck here somewhere[attach id=19190] :icon_confused:
1996 Granite black Steamer, ahead of 40 odd others owned
Regards Russ
An ounce of luck is worth a ton of experience!

Lee337

I have a similar photo somewhere taken in 1979 outside my home town on the North Devon coast. we were snowed in for 3 weeks.

Can't find the photo but I was standing waist deep in snow on what turned out to be the roof of a Transit van.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.

Madruss

#372
Quote from: Lee337 on January 04, 2024, 06:52:48 PMI have a similar photo somewhere taken in 1979 outside my hometown on the North Devon coast, where it snowed in for 3 weeks.

Can't find the photo but I was standing waist deep in snow on what turned out to be the roof of a Transit van.

These massive snow dumps spin me out.
The only big dumps of white stuff seems be hail lately.
Torrential storms down on the Gold Coast. A relative tells me he lost power Boxing Day, still not back on either.
They're not even in a tropical cyclone zone.
 
1996 Granite black Steamer, ahead of 40 odd others owned
Regards Russ
An ounce of luck is worth a ton of experience!

Madruss

Pinched this from an old post in 2012.  :thumbsup
You should hear how a Steamer sounds with a 3 into 1 system on it.
Mine has a GSXR Titaniun can on a Girly header. Been likened to an angry chainsaw. :ImaPoser
1996 Granite black Steamer, ahead of 40 odd others owned
Regards Russ
An ounce of luck is worth a ton of experience!

Lee337

No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.